OK, so ew, I know. I talk about love and relationships too much.. But considering that I have been in a three year relationship at such a young age, with a guy that put me through the amazing and misery.. I think I deserve to rant a little about what the reality of it is. And I have found it very difficult to open up to some of my closest friends and family about this because - well, most of them don’t approve of my complicated choices and don’t want to hear about my ‘fucked up’ relationship problems anymore. So blogging is what I have left to rant to :) I have summarized love into three words: sacrifice, commitment and devotion. It has taken me a long time to realize that in a relationship it takes a lot of work and time to satisfy your self needs and the needs of your partner. I’m not saying that the experience was a waste, nor was it bad. For me, everything in life happens for a good reason and regrets are only for the little things in life – like, “Oh shit I forgot to do my homework.. And now I’m going to fail.” As for this, it is definitely not something insignificant. I had to go through a series of events and obstacles to have triggered my perception of love and relationships. Now I can really say, “I learned it the hard way.”
There’s always that saying in a relationship, “here we go again!” This could mean, cheating, lying, deceiving, interrogating, etc. We all end up in a hypocritical position when giving advice to another girl friend or boy friend. I always find myself caught in that situation where I give the advice… then go back on my words and maybe take my own words into consideration. This is where my new perceptions evolve, and my old decisions kick in. Although, he is a flirt, a jerk at times, plays hard to get, thinks he’s a gangster, can’t control his anger, his voice annoys me and a majority of the times blames his faults on me… I still can’t let go of the love that we built together. I find it extremely hard to move forward from the past and forget about the history that we had.
How ironic that I get a blog comment from Nguyenn_TT, on my previous blog entry just less than a week ago, judging me and my opinions. So here is your little, but much needed explanation.
Do I still stay with him even though he likes those types of girls? Well, I guess I had to try myself then right? If I had the opportunity to experience the life of an import model (the type of models that lay all over the cars in skimpy outfits that guys ALWAYS drop dead for...), well of course I had to grab it! I'm the type of person that has to grasp the concept of something for my own. I did what I felt would satisfy my curiosity and it just so happens, it isn't who I am. My love and passion remains with the ones that had been there since the get-go and will still support me even through the rough times, such as this one itself. I don't regret doing what I was meant to experience, I learn from it and grow. I don't sit myself behind a screen and judge people, I only make judgments on facts. FYI - that experience was exceptionally SHORT. So take it in as you like.
New perceptions: Every time something like this happens, I learn to accept the situation and view it from another point of view. Even though I am unsure about what is going to happen next, I accept it the best way that I could and progress with what I got.
Old decisions: The accepting and new view points don’t change the fact that I am still going to have faith in him, that one day despite all the difficulties and obstacles – We will conquer.
There’s always that saying in a relationship, “here we go again!” This could mean, cheating, lying, deceiving, interrogating, etc. We all end up in a hypocritical position when giving advice to another girl friend or boy friend. I always find myself caught in that situation where I give the advice… then go back on my words and maybe take my own words into consideration. This is where my new perceptions evolve, and my old decisions kick in. Although, he is a flirt, a jerk at times, plays hard to get, thinks he’s a gangster, can’t control his anger, his voice annoys me and a majority of the times blames his faults on me… I still can’t let go of the love that we built together. I find it extremely hard to move forward from the past and forget about the history that we had.
How ironic that I get a blog comment from Nguyenn_TT, on my previous blog entry just less than a week ago, judging me and my opinions. So here is your little, but much needed explanation.
Do I still stay with him even though he likes those types of girls? Well, I guess I had to try myself then right? If I had the opportunity to experience the life of an import model (the type of models that lay all over the cars in skimpy outfits that guys ALWAYS drop dead for...), well of course I had to grab it! I'm the type of person that has to grasp the concept of something for my own. I did what I felt would satisfy my curiosity and it just so happens, it isn't who I am. My love and passion remains with the ones that had been there since the get-go and will still support me even through the rough times, such as this one itself. I don't regret doing what I was meant to experience, I learn from it and grow. I don't sit myself behind a screen and judge people, I only make judgments on facts. FYI - that experience was exceptionally SHORT. So take it in as you like.
New perceptions: Every time something like this happens, I learn to accept the situation and view it from another point of view. Even though I am unsure about what is going to happen next, I accept it the best way that I could and progress with what I got.
Old decisions: The accepting and new view points don’t change the fact that I am still going to have faith in him, that one day despite all the difficulties and obstacles – We will conquer.
